lump

a lump in my throat

the size of the past year

appears and remains

when I cannot begin

cannot bring myself to read you

because I care more than you

and though it came from you

it is also a mirror for me

and I am so very afraid to look

for it’s a fight to come to terms

with all the gaping worm-holes

that cannot yet be filled

because my duty is here when it wants to be elsewhere.

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